Summer time, when the living is easy. I have really close friends from home, and when I come back from college, I am always super ecstatic to see them. When I mean super ecstatic, I mean get really drunk.
I snipe some whiskey and Jack Daniel’s from my dad’s stash and my friends and I start pre gaming at my house. Some girl from high school is having a party at her college apartment about an hour away. We go. We bring mixed drinks in recycled canteens, cups and mugs, that I have at my house and put them one of those eco friendly bags... you know the one’s you put your groceries in, instead of plastic bags. We get into Sugar’s car, continuing to drink. My mindset at this point was schools over, I’m at home for the summer, lets get fucked up.
We get to the party, and it basically like a blast from the past, people from high school. Summary of the events that happened at the party:
- Drunk pictures
- Sugar hookups with her ex boyfriend’s best friend
- Star plays beer bong and looses
- I’m really drunk
- Beyonce is flirting with random boys
- I keep drinking
Obviously, the good shit happens after we leave the party. So, the girl who was throwing the party forgot to tell her roommates about the party.... so obviously they were pissed… and party shuts down. We all leave. We drive back and decide we want to go get some burger king.
However, as were driving home, I don’t feel good and begin to get flustered.
I think you know what happen’s next…
I start dragooning in Sugar’s car. In retrospect, not surprised. Sugar, again I am so sorry, I was just so happy to see my biddies back home! Anyway, Star is like “throw up in the eco friendly bag, dude!” So she puts the bag in between her legs and my face is in her crotch, vomiting, nice chunks of my dinner. So ironic, especially because I am an environmental studies major. Star later admits to me the next day, she felt like vomiting as well when I was vomiting into the bag…. and it took her all her might not to vomit on me. Damn. That would have been a fucking shit show. It would be like 2 girls, 1 cup... but not.
We finally get to burger king. I stopped my vomiting. We get out of the car. Why am I undressing my clothes in the bk parking lot? Why are some of the guys from the party driving into the burger king parking lot? Perfect timing.
Fast forward, so were driving back to my house, so we can all pass out. We all walk to my door, me holding my own vomit in an eco friendly bag. Walking up to the door to my house… feel all kinds of queasy. Didn’t make it to the bathroom in my house, and dragoned all over the welcome mat in front of my door, giving the entrance of my home a nice creamy, green soupy decoration at 3 in the morning. Delish. How convenient and again, ironic, the color was a beautiful shade of green.
(So, if you have read the family fun blog post, you will hear this again)
The next day, when my parents, and Star were lighting the candles for Shabbat. My dad quickly hovers over the candles and says “wait, we need to protect the shabbas candles before Leah vomits all over them.”
Honestly.
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