Asian Invasion

LOVE me asian food,  hello kitty and everything is basically made from China. In high school, I had an asian tutor that helped me with AP Biology. She was the fucking bomb. I get this love from my dad. My dad also loves asians. He married my mom... He thinks Asians have a great work ethic and family structure.

Asians are basically the fucking shit. However, no one is perfect.

Last semester, I was in the library working on a paper. I was in the dungeon part of the library which means there is no talking aloud. So, I am typing on my computer alone. There were many people studying around me, not at my table but close to my table studying or working on papers for finals as well.

Suddenly, a ripple of farts are heard. I hear them coming from behind me. I slyly turn around it was this asian boy heavily working on something on his computer.

More ripples.

I began to cover my nose.

I of course was not the only one who heard these ripples. I make eye contact with a girl I kinda know. I tried to hold it in but we both begin to laugh.

Fast, slow, slow, fast loud queasy ripples. It was like anal acoustics. no joke.

I am literally dying in my chair. He keeps on working on his mac like nothing is happening.

CLEARLY, something is happening.

Like dude, go to the boys room to do that. He was a lean mean farting machine. However,  I have to give him credit to be really concentrated on his studies.  I never go into that part of the library .... because I want to avoid distraction.

A couple days after this incident,  I witnessed 3 asians running across campus with paper in hand.... one of them was me.

Pretty Pictures

Job Interview

Went to my retail interview at a local mall today.

I was a bit early. Go into the store across from because I had time to kill.

I walk into Bath and Body Works... try to some lotion, however the smell reminded me of cleaning solution so I quickly ran to wash my hands with soap and water.

I leave to go to the retail interview. I walk in and I get acquainted with the manager who was about to interview me. He sees me and puts out his hand and I step to him to shake it.

He gives me a look.

I suddenly feel his hand touching mine to be wet.

I give myself a look.

I forgot to dry my hands after washing them.

Classy. Real Classy.

Stay tuned if I actually get the job.