To Fuck Or Not To Fuck

To fuck or not to fuck - that is the question.

Questions like this that would only be applicable in College... well maybe not but its the first time I have ever had heard of someone deal with this kinda situation. 

One of my friends who I love to death... shes awesome. I will call her Mary. She is girly be can be one of the guys, sweet, and really into boys. Loves em. And who can blame her. The opposite sex can be rather appealing.


Setting: Frat Party.
Scene: Mary playing beer pong. Me kinda tipsy.

She sees me and greets me with a huge hug!
She then comes to me and says "Leah, I have a huge problem!"
Me: what is it?! Are you okay?!

Mary: I have 2 boys I have my eye on... but I don't know which one to fuck

Me: What's the problem... obviously the hotter one!
Mary: my dilemma is Boy A is really hot, but he can never get it up and Boy B is okay looking, (obviously not as hot as Boy A) but will probably get it up. And I just wanna get it in!

I let this problem marinate in my mind for a couple of minutes.She wanted a good time so after, I told her Boy B was the better choice. Boy B has a better chance getting the job done. Again, I have never been in that situation or never thought to be put in that situation. And I thought choosing between girls or boys to fuck was hard. After the party broke up, I see her holding hands with Boy B, both of them walking out. I smiled.

oh the dilemmas of college

Same Sex Drunk Hookups

So, I go to one of Joe’s (see ‘jesus is my lord and savior’ post) parties again over the summer. I just can’t get enough. Everyone is having a good time. Beer pong in the living room, casual drinking in kitchen,  smoking upstairs in Joe’s dad room. So one of my friends… (we will call him Aaron) just broke up with his long his girlfriend of like 3 years.  Before the party at like lunch or something he me that  he was trying to get some girls number at the bars, and he was like ‘can I have your number’ and then goes in for a handshake.’ Clearly, out of the game. 

So, at this party he wanted to practice his flirting skills with some girls at the party. He practiced it with girls who I just assume were seniors in  high school, so the task at hand was  not really THAT difficult…. let’s be real here. Aaron begins to flirt with this girl Mary (we’ll call her Mary) all night. They were feelin each other (Aaron was feelin her lot, later telling me, he wanted to get digits and a date). I gave Aaron the occasional head nod and ‘getting it in’ body thrusts, while he was talking to her. 

Later that night, Mary, and her friends Ben and Jason were sitting kind of in a circle in the middle of the kitchen. The ask me to come over and sit down with them. I was like okay. Mary tells me they want to play truth or dare. And who am I going to pass up a game when all my friends (Aaron, Jasmine, Beyonce, Sugar) are getting shitty or getting it on, or I don’t even know, lets be honest. So the first couple dares are like ‘chug this whole thing of beer’ or ‘lick the toilet seat.’ Then Ben goes, ‘Mary I dare you to kiss Leah’. In my mind, I’m like fuck. I begin to sweat (are you shocked?). I then give her this look of like ‘I don’t know/scared look’ Mary then proceeds to tell me “oh, it’ll be fine... it’s just like kissing boys.” Yeah. So. She kind of leans in and grabs my neck and gives it to me long and from what I and remember a bit sloppy. Who walks in the kitchen? Yes. Aaron. Cool. He looks at what happens and turns around. That’s cool. Yes, why do these things happen to me? Tell me because I would like to know. 

I mean me and Aaron joke about it now.... a year later. He actually facebooked me the other day and was like ‘yo you have Mary’s number, cause I’m still tryna hit it.’ 

Next story:

In the beginning of the semester, I went to this frat party. Get mad drunk. Hookup up with this really hot girl, who I’ve always thought was really attractive. We will call her hot tottie. I didn’t really know her at the time l but I do invite her back to my dorm, after the frat party… she says no. Awkward. 

Fast forward to a week later. Every time I would see this girl I would give her this weird one eye stare and runaway. (Now I only know this because she later told me about this one eye stare). Anyway, I would see her from time to time from afar and yes it would be awkward but there would be no vocal communication. So it was fine.

Now, I’m in this club and they asked me to dorm storm. Dorm storming is basically going to all the freshman dorms and informing them about your club. So, I began to go dorm storming in the freshman dorms with these paper flyers, prepared to chat it up about the coolest club ever on campus. I do a couple dorms and I finally get to the third floor. I open the first door, and I see a bunch of people in this room. Look around the room. My eye catches a girl with long black hair. Of course, its hot tottie. As I look at her, and as she looks at me, I drop all 100 of my mini flyers the size of my palm. I begin to squirm and stutter trying to pick up all the flyers on the floor. I tell everyone in the room “um… yeah you can come to my uh club…” I do not make eye contact with anyone in that room. I also give each person, including hot tottie a flyer. I then continue: “yeah… its like supper awesome… my club is awesome....” I then proceed to leave. Basically run out of the freshman dorms. Coolness. I just also want to point out that this was very shocking because hot tottie is not a freshman. Why was she there? 

One whole semester later, she’s my girlfriend. LAWL. Who knew.