The Doctor Is In

Background information: my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and has been living with us for about 3 years. He currently lives on our middle floor. 

Its Winter break. Just got back from Israel, I have a week at home before school. Super siced! All I was going to do for that week is work out at the gym, work on my study abroad applications, and hang out with friends. I had already packed my luggage for school and I put it in the family room next to the kitchen, so when my dad got home he could just put in the car. My dad has this fear that I never pack on time and will forget leave my luggage at home. The funny this, I came back to school that January and forgot to bring my winter jacket. LOL. It  was awesome. 

Anyway, one day I was late for this step aerobics class at the gym at home. I was quickly trying to get ready (didn’t want to miss the step aerobics class because there like the fucking shit!) I noticed that I didn’t have spandex in my room, but I packed away like 3 or 4 pairs spandex in my luggage for school. So I sprinted uncontrollably downstairs, went directly to my luggage, and pulled out this pair of zebra spandex. Without even thinking, (and I have to admit I do this all the time at home), taking off my shorts (having nothing underneath), and hurrying to put on my zebra spandex. I was wearing sneakers already, and for some reason I had a hard time putting my leg and sneaker through the spandex aka I fell on the floor… butt out, spandex only on one leg in fetal position.

Awesome. 

As I get back up facing the kitchen, someone is staring at me. First of all, I was embarrassed because I mooned him. I was like dead fish flopping on the ground, ass out. Second of all, he was my grandfather’s doctor. Tall, scruffy, chocolate brown hair, light green eyes, early 30s. Semi Muscular, only does crunches and cardio at the gym (if I would have to guess). He was pretty hot. He was also getting a glass of water in my refrigerator, as he turned around to the family room, he saw me on the floor, ass out. 

Awesome.  

I paused. (still staring at him at this moment) 

Jaw dropped (and trying to cover my butt with my hand)

He smiled. 

I died. 

Me starting to murmur: "Um,  uh, i don't mmm...  

He walked back in the other room, where my grandfather lay. 

I died some more. 

Then, I turned red.

 

Quickly put my spandex and shorts back on.

Grabbed my ipod.  

Leave my house.

Went to the Gym.Worked the shit out of my body.

Ate at California Tortilla.

Grabbed frozen yogurt.

Come back home.

My dad and mom eating dinner.

Stare at me.

Stare at them.

They burst out laughing.

Thats cool. 

To be honest though, I still will probably change my clothes wherever I want, but now with caution. 

7th Grade Déjà Vu

Jesus Christ. What do I remember about junior high? Well, for me I was a metal mouth, four eyed, flat chested preteen with bad caramel highlights. Personally, I don’t like to relive it. However, I have come to notice that you cannot help but revisit this awkward episodes from junior highs school, whether you like to or not.  

Today,  woke up. Showered. Put on a grey leggings with lace shirt and blue blazer. Very cute. I was hype. I go down to the cafeteria to eat breakfast. I get breakfast and do a little reading before my classes. Now as I was eating I would get up from my chair to get napkins, spoons, salt, more bread, etc from across the cafeteria. As I would obtain these items I would feel someone staring at my booty. I turned around and yes a couple people, boys and girls were staring at the booty. I mean I was wearing tight grey leggings that probably accentuated the booty. And I would also like to point out that I have a pretty good butt, nothing crazy but nicely bubble shaped butt, at least I would like to think. Whatever, think nothing of it, sit down and eat my omelet of ham, tomato, and cheese. 

Next to my table, a girl we will call her Maddy came to sit at the table next to me. We exchange hellos and friendly banter. Me and Maddy work together, however not really close friends. After half an hour and my  a half eaten omelet later, I decide to put my  plate away and go to the bathroom. As I put my plate away I look back at Maddy and she gives me this uncomfortable look. I mean I think nothing of it, and walk across the cafeteria to go to the bathroom (mind you many people in the cafeteria at this point). When I reach the bathroom, I soon then realize no one was looking at the booty, and understood Maddy’s facial expression. 

Damn. Special stains on my grey leggings. Very visible. Very big. I would say as big as two half quarters laying next to each other.  Awesome.  I will never know how many people actually were paying attention to my grey leggings and my super cute stains.  Breathing hard, sweating profusely. I decide to wrap my blazer around my waist to cover the beautiful red artwork on my butt. Walk out. Get my stuff. Go back to my dorm quickly. Before, I left Maddy gave me a smile. She knew what’s up.  And probably everyone in that cafeteria knew whats up... or thought I shat in my pants.

Damn. Haven’t done that since… well since this similar event happened when I was in the 7^th grade. I still remember it vividly. World studies class. Wearing a brown Roxy sweatshirt with jean skirt. I distinctly remember my friend Laura asking if I sat in ketchup at lunch the period before. I nodded quickly. What a great cover up story in retrospect. I remember this was the first time I ever had my period and bled through my jean skirt. Can I just put out there that this was my 60 dollars abercrombie kids mini skirt. I was forever heart broken and couldn't wear the damn thing ever again. 

In my opinion, now that I am 19 years old I should know better than my 13 year old self... obviously not.

Also, wasn’t expecting my monthly for another two weeks. What the hell. I can’t take being surprise attacked.