The two stories I'm about to share with you are about this one boy on campus that makes me smile. He's actually a hilarious person. We will call him Forest.
So one day at the beginning, my friend Tiana and I went to the gym and, after we decided to sit on this benches and chat. We were probably there for like 2 hours. I see Forest from a distance. He isn't walking in my direction, however he sees me and I see him from afar.10-15 feet away. So to beat the awkwardness, I shout out and say "hey forest!" giving him the biggest smile and waving the fuck out of my arm. Forest sees me. Stares. And then turns around and sprints in the opposite direction.
Story #2
Forest and I have a class together and we had an essay due on Friday at 5pm. Forest wasn't really into the essay and told me he procrastinated and finally finished writing it at 4:45pm that Friday it was due. While he was writing this essay, he ate copious amounts of pizza, cheese fries, and cherry coke. Now, the paper was due at 5, in a building across campus, that would close at 5pm. So what does Forest do? Sprints to this academic building, to turn in his paper on time. Arrives at the academic building at 4:57 pm. Vomits. Vomits pizza, fries, and coke near the entrance of the building. Professors are staring at him. He later finds out that all the professors that work in that building leave at the same time... at 5pm.I ask him if our professor saw him in action, Forest says yes....
That is some true dedication. Mad props.Why didn't he just email the teacher, I will never know.
Showing posts with label tiana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tiana. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
My Girlfriend Cheated on Me
During finals week, to blow off steam, what do you want to do? Get tipsy. Some of my friends who live on my hall had a belated Channukah party . I brought one of my best friends, (we’ll call her Lauren) and Hot Tottie (aka my girlfriend). So, we are partying like it was the 3rd night of Chanukah with mixed drinks, beer, and sangria. Kudos to the host of the party Sam… yeah we’ll call her Sam. Sam is like this super awesome, very philosophical, and funny sarcastic person. All the Jewish boys love her, not sorry.
So were all chilling at this party, and Lauren tells me we have to leave because my other friend… we will call her Tiana is waiting for us. So as me, Hot Tottie, and Lauren are leaving, I say bye to everyone including Sam. I go in for the ‘kiss goodbye on the cheek’ anddddddddddd (Sam didn’t understand what I was doing) moves her head and it looks like we kissed. But we didn’t. I’m honestly am not sure if we actually did, but it was hella awkward. Sam stares at Hot Tottie. Hot Tottie stares at Sam. Hottie Tottie stares at me. Okay. Awkward. Leave the room. Hot tottie gives me this evil eye of ‘What were you doing in front of me?” I quickly apologize like 50 million times and at this point, she believes me and accepts my apology… or so I thought. I mean to be honest, it was a harmless accident. I don’t like Sam in that way. Sam doesn’t like me in that way. Sam also has a man at this time.
Leave Channaukah party. Meet Tiana. Go in a bathroom. In a handicapped bathroom. Slap the bag. Race out. Go to this infamous party across campus. Get there. 7 people are there. The party is over, however they still have jungle juice. So obviously we drink it. Have a good time.
I didn’t know this at the time but someone forgets to eat dinner. So obviously, gets really shwasty. When we reach Hot Tottie’s room to make food (because at this point food seemed like a really good idea) , Hot Tottie starts ranting:
“Can I have some pizza?”
“I’m cool and really cute”
I then began to video tape.
“She kissed a girl today that wasn’t me; in front of me”
“I’m wearing cheetah underwear right now”
A) It was an honest mistake and I'm sorry for the 1209109 time
B) Your actually a ridiculous person for making fun of all my cheetah lady items, when you secretly sport the jungle fever
<3
Saturday, December 4, 2010
The Unfortunate Events of Freshman Year
Freshman year was interesting. The first day of school, I had a writing class, however I did not ever make it because I was rushed to the hospital. (Background information: one week before school started, I went clubbing in DC... never again. I assume I obtained rashes on my arms from this particular Swedish guy I was dancing with) I had these 2 rashes on my inner arms, the area between my shoulder and elbow. The rashes started convulsing. So the police drove me to the hospital and doctors literally scalped out and drained the guts of my rashes. fucking awesome. That's exactly how I wanted to spend my first day of school. Its funny though because as I was waiting for all my paperwork to go through, in the waiting area, I was actually sitting next to another freshman from my school. go figure. we chatted.. well he mostly chatted. Fun fact: after that day, even though I didn't know him well we would run into each others arms.. I can't seem to remember why.
But anyway, my story does not compare to Cindy's story. Cindy is one of those amazing people in life who are warm, welcoming, and very genuine. She is still now one of my good friends at college. Back to the story, she lived in a triple freshman year. Her roommates were Jessica and Amanda. Jessica was never in the dorm and went home everyday. But for someone to live not in that dorm, she had so much crap. Not gonna lie, every time I'd come to visit Cindy I would snack on Jessica's food and sometimes me and Cindy had sleepovers.. I would sleep in her bed. Jessica never noticed. Jessica also had this curling iron. I borrowed it... but when she moved out I forgot to give it back. Amanda was this sweet foreign exchange student who was scared of the dark and refused to turn off lights. She also would refer to the grocery store as a 'market.'
Cindy was always tired of having to wear one of those sleeping eye patch things at night, because Amanda would refuse to turn off the light. One night, Cindy becomes fed up and tells Amanda to shut off the lamp. Amanda says "no no, I will dim the light, dim the light with my scarf" (I wish I could audio in her accent, however I am not tech saavy)s. At this point, Cindy grunts and gives up and puts on her eye patch thing on and goes to bed. Hours later, Cindy can not breathe in her room, she takes off her eye patch, however she can't see anything because the room is full of smoke. Cindy says to Amanda "We gotta get outtta here."Before they leave the room, Cindy grabs the most important thing in her room: her spanish homework due tomorrow. When they got outside, Cindy asks Amanda what happened. Amanda simply replies by saying "I threw the firey thing on the floor." I don't understand... do they not teach stop drop and roll and what not to wrap hot things with in foreign countries? Anyway, the whole building had to be evacuated at like.. I want to say like 4 in the morning. At this time, fire alarm went off ( I lived in one floor up from Cindy) and I was in my bed sleeping, and my roommate had to drag me out of bed to evacuate the area.
After the fire and firefighters came, Cindy and Amanda went back to the room only to find that, out of all the three roommates, only all of Cindy's things were damaged. Clothes, ugg boots, and her laptop. Needless to say after this, Cindy couldn't stand to be around Amanda. Amanda moved out and Jessica moved up to my floor.
I get this notion that Amanda still doesn't think she did anything wrong to Cindy. I think its funny though because Amanda says hi to me from time to time. Every time I see her, I think of what happened, and I just have to smile. Obviously, Cindy does not feel the same way after what happened, and especially when Amanda refused to buy Cindy a new laptop.
Deja vu: fast foward to tonight.. or should i say this morning, just as I was about to fall asleep in my dorm fire alarms go off, not cool. Its like freshman year all over again. So I grab my laptop and run along outside. As I am on facebook outside, its Amanda's birthday today. How ironic.
But anyway, my story does not compare to Cindy's story. Cindy is one of those amazing people in life who are warm, welcoming, and very genuine. She is still now one of my good friends at college. Back to the story, she lived in a triple freshman year. Her roommates were Jessica and Amanda. Jessica was never in the dorm and went home everyday. But for someone to live not in that dorm, she had so much crap. Not gonna lie, every time I'd come to visit Cindy I would snack on Jessica's food and sometimes me and Cindy had sleepovers.. I would sleep in her bed. Jessica never noticed. Jessica also had this curling iron. I borrowed it... but when she moved out I forgot to give it back. Amanda was this sweet foreign exchange student who was scared of the dark and refused to turn off lights. She also would refer to the grocery store as a 'market.'
Cindy was always tired of having to wear one of those sleeping eye patch things at night, because Amanda would refuse to turn off the light. One night, Cindy becomes fed up and tells Amanda to shut off the lamp. Amanda says "no no, I will dim the light, dim the light with my scarf" (I wish I could audio in her accent, however I am not tech saavy)s. At this point, Cindy grunts and gives up and puts on her eye patch thing on and goes to bed. Hours later, Cindy can not breathe in her room, she takes off her eye patch, however she can't see anything because the room is full of smoke. Cindy says to Amanda "We gotta get outtta here."Before they leave the room, Cindy grabs the most important thing in her room: her spanish homework due tomorrow. When they got outside, Cindy asks Amanda what happened. Amanda simply replies by saying "I threw the firey thing on the floor." I don't understand... do they not teach stop drop and roll and what not to wrap hot things with in foreign countries? Anyway, the whole building had to be evacuated at like.. I want to say like 4 in the morning. At this time, fire alarm went off ( I lived in one floor up from Cindy) and I was in my bed sleeping, and my roommate had to drag me out of bed to evacuate the area.
After the fire and firefighters came, Cindy and Amanda went back to the room only to find that, out of all the three roommates, only all of Cindy's things were damaged. Clothes, ugg boots, and her laptop. Needless to say after this, Cindy couldn't stand to be around Amanda. Amanda moved out and Jessica moved up to my floor.
I get this notion that Amanda still doesn't think she did anything wrong to Cindy. I think its funny though because Amanda says hi to me from time to time. Every time I see her, I think of what happened, and I just have to smile. Obviously, Cindy does not feel the same way after what happened, and especially when Amanda refused to buy Cindy a new laptop.
Deja vu: fast foward to tonight.. or should i say this morning, just as I was about to fall asleep in my dorm fire alarms go off, not cool. Its like freshman year all over again. So I grab my laptop and run along outside. As I am on facebook outside, its Amanda's birthday today. How ironic.
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